22 January 2013

Post-Abortive and Gay? There is Help!

Abortion is a trauma, not just on our culture as a whole, but on the women who have chosen abortion, and the women who've had it chosen for them. And some of these women have gay orientation/same-sex attraction.

When a gay woman who is part of the larger Gay community suffers ill effects related to a past abortion--- depression, suicidal thoughts, overpowering grief on seeing a child the age their child would have been--- she may feel especially alone. There is not much support for a pro-life point of view in the larger Gay community.

Also, most healing-and-help groups for the post-abortive are Christian ministries, or are at least predominantly Christian. And anyone who has ever been part of the Gay community knows how Christian ministries are perceived--- homophobic hate groups.

But the plain fact is that there is hope even for post-abortive women that are Gay. Traditionally Christian groups today have had a long time to adjust to the existence of openly Gay persons in the world. They may not agree with what is happening in your private life--- just as they don't agree about their daughter living-in-sin with a boyfriend--- but they feel no need to preach about these things when you come to them and say "I need help."

There is a ministry called Rachel's Vineyard founded by a woman with a PhD. It is now part of the Priests for Life prolife organization--- yes, they are Catholic. Rachel's Vineyard offers weekend retreats for those impacted by abortion.

The Silent No More Awareness Campaign is something you may have seen if you've caught the very rare media clips of the March for Life or other major prolife events--- they are women holding up signs that say 'I regret my abortion', and men whose signs say 'I regret lost fatherhood'.  This organization is a place to tell your abortion story and find others who have been through it.

If you are shy about opening up in a Christian group full of straight people, there are ministries for Gay people such as Courage International. Courage is a Catholic ministry helping people cope with their 'same-sex attraction'. They don't demand that you call yourself 'ex-gay' (though they don't like the 'g' word for some reason), or ask you to aim at a goal of heterosexual marriage. If you go to a Courage group and say 'hey, I've had an abortion and I need help coping with it,' I'm sure you will find someone who can help.

Now, you may feel that you can't turn to Christian groups like this for help because they believe Gay people are called to live chaste lives and you have no intention of making THAT commitment any time soon. Well, I wish there were good healing programs for post-abortive Gay women out there for you. The problem is that there just aren't that many folks that combine the ideas of 'Gay sex is OK' with the idea 'Abortion has bad emotional side effects'--- if you can find such a group or create one, you are one of the lucky ones.

You may need to turn to Christian groups like those mentioned above, and just tell yourself you are NOT going to be worried about the things you and the ministry don't agree about. They are there to help, they want to help, and you need help. Give them a chance to help you. If it doesn't work out, consider it one of those educational life experiences we all have.

One issue not as much talked about is the issue of post-abortive men. Men go through grief and emotional trauma due to the abortions of their children--- even if they were the ones that wanted the abortion.

For a Gay man it may be even harder to seek help for the problems of being post-abortive. In the liberal/progressive world of the Gay community, abortion is not only always good, it's only about the woman, and a good man has nothing to say about it.

Both of the ministries mentioned above, Rachel's Vineyard and Silent No More, work with post-abortive men as well as women, and can help you. Please consider turning to them.

As you cope with this issue, do not despair. You may not see it, you may feel you are all alone with it and nobody would ever care. You may feel that if they heard YOUR story, they would judge you harshly. That's not true. There are people out there (like me) who do care, who pray for you and for your healing, and who want to help. And, whether you want to believe it or not, Jesus Christ cares. He loves, and He suffered death on the cross so YOU could be healed of your post-abortion trauma and every other emotional ill.

Interview with an Imaginary Gay Marriage Supporter

This is a fictional interview with a Gay marriage supporter I would dearly love to find.

Me: My interview today is with Marriage Jack, who has spent his life working for Gay marriage to be legalized. Tell me, Marriage Jack, what is your approach to Gay sexuality?

Marriage Jack: We start out with outreach to young Gay and Lesbian people who have just come out of the closet. We want to reach them with the message that the right way--- the only healthy way--- to live the Gay life is to remain absolutely chaste before their Gay wedding day.

Me: Have you had much success with that?

Marriage Jack: Oh, yes! Our sign-up sheets for abstinence education classes fill up within minutes. We have a hard time keeping up! We have a brisk business in selling Gay chastity rings, and the room is full when we have ceremonies in which Gay and Lesbian people take the 'True Love Waits' chastity pledge. And they are really living up to their commitments, too!

Me: And yet Gay marriage has only recently become legal in a few states. What did your chaste single Gay and Lesbian people do before that.

Marriage Jack: Why, they stayed chaste, of course. We had engaged Gay and Lesbian couples in their seventies and eighties, who had lived in absolute celibacy in their separate apartments for all those years, until the day came when they could finally be legally united.

Me: Isn't that grand! But, you do know that for a great many people, Gay partnerings can never be considered true marriage, no matter what a batch of  politicians or judges in select states may say. Doesn't that affect you?

Marriage Jack: Well, yes. You see the whole point of having a Gay marriage that is recognized by the state instead of just a private commitment ceremony is that those private ceremonies are so... variable. Some just throw themselves a commitment ceremony on the spur of the moment--- almost as a joke. Not a very sober joke in some cases. They don't tell their family or their work friends about it, and as for the commitment level--- well, they may be partying with other partners within the week. While in other cases the partners in an unrecognized commitment ceremony take it as seriously as a legal wedding.

Me: Are there cases where one partner takes those ceremonies seriously and the other doesn't?

Marriage Jack: That is where the heartbreak comes in. So, you see, we really need Gay marriage, and we need it to be universally accepted as traditional marriage is, just in order to enable us to keep our lives in some sort of moral order. Because promiscuity is a bad thing, a dangerous thing, isn't that something we can agree on?

Me: Yes, we can. A final question: Do you expect that you can turn Gay marriage into what you want and need it to be, within your life time? Both in terms of gaining acceptance of the new institution from the outside world, and in gaining in respect of the moral principles within the Gay and Lesbian community?

Marriage Jack: I don't know, not for sure, but I hope so.

I wrote this to illustrate the point of view I had during a time in my life when I considered that Gay marriage might be a moral answer to the dilemma of life with same-sex attraction. If it criticizes the moral viewpoints of some real-world Gay marriage supporters, well, that's just an added bonus. ;)

21 January 2013

Washington National Cathedral to perform same-sex ‘marriages’ | LifeSiteNews.com

Washington National Cathedral to perform same-sex ‘marriages’ | LifeSiteNews.com Click on link to read the article.

The Washington 'National' Cathedral, an Episcopal church, will be performing gay weddings. I have two things to say about that.

1. How can a country with no established church have a National Cathedral? This is NOT an officially Episcopalian country.

2. If the 'National' Cathedral performs gay weddings, will that be the death knell for the Episcopalian church? They are not growing the way the more faithful-to-scripture churches are.

20 January 2013

Is This Blog 'Legit'?

Is this blog 'legit'? Much depends on how you define 'legit'. If you say 'but none of MY gay friends has THOSE opinions', perhaps your definition of 'legit' is far too narrow.

You may think we live in a very free society, where people are allowed full freedom of expression. You may think that, but it is not true. Certain groups of people suffer under social restrictions on their freedom of expression, viciously enforced.

You may find lots of gay people that are liberal. You may find some gay people who are fiscal conservatives. You may find some gay people who are Christians. But you may not have encountered gay people who don't go along with the new sacred cow of gay 'marriage'.

Is that because there are no people with gay orientation who happen to feel that way? No, it's because that if you dare to suggest that you can be gay and yet not support gay marriage, or that you can be gay and believe a chaste lifestyle is preferable for gay people, or that you can be gay and support the Catholic church or the Bible's teaching about same-sex physical relationships, then you will be attacked. Viciously.

There is no room for 'let's agree to disagree' here. Just expressing these forbidden opinions when you are gay leads to massive attack. In the two days this blog and its related Facebook page have been up, a lot of people who believe that name-calling constitutes a compelling logical argument have interacted with me. I've been called stupid (and I have a Mensa-level IQ), I've been called a liar, I've been called 'crazy' (that's hatespeech for a person with a mental illness).... and guess what? I'm tough enough.

Some people think they have a right to compel me to furnish proof that I am gay. Well, all the proof the left-wing gay celebrities ever have to show is when they say 'I am gay' for the first time. And when was the last time somewhat straight was asked to prove it, unless evidence to the contrary was pretty plentiful.

The fact is that there are no federal databases of gay or straight people. What orientation you are is something going on inside your brain. How do you go about proving it to hateful, homophobic skeptics?

Why would you bother trying to prove such things to haters and homophobes, even gay homophobes? Until they learn not to be haters nothing you say will make a difference anyhow.

For those open-minded readers, of any opinion, who honestly wonder if there is some sort of hoax here: well, I'm a woman. If you were here in person I could show you my driver's license or take off my shirt to prove it. And my orientation or tendency is to be attracted to other woman. Since I have been living a chaste lifestyle, that's kind of hard to prove, too. Even if you follow this blog for awhile, I don't really plan on giving lists of woman I have had crushes on, or the details of my private life (which are boring--- chastity, remember?).

But for this one occasion I'm posting a picture of the character Leeloo from the movie The Fifth Element which I watched last night. In keeping with my long term practice of having crushes on fictional characters, I've had a major crush on Leeloo since I first saw that movie. But that's another thing I couldn't prove in a court of law to the satisfaction of all comers.

I guess sometimes, over time, we just have to learn to trust people. After we've gotten to know them. And that takes time.

19 January 2013

BCN: Nearly One Million March for Marriage in Paris | NOM Blog

BCN: Nearly One Million March for Marriage in Paris | NOM Blog Please click on link to read the story

You know, I'm surprised. I've taken it for granted that Europe is so much more 'sophisticated' (less Christian) than we in America are, that I assumed that they wouldn't have much trouble trading in traditional marriage for oh-so-new marry-who-or-what-you-want marriage.

But protests for traditional marriage were astounding. And much of it is for the sake of the children. Surprising since the one thing demographically dying Europe doesn't seem to have as a priority is children.

Studies show that children are better off in homes with a man and woman as the heads of it. As a gay person, this fact doesn't thrill me (but then, facts are not there to thrill me). But as a woman, I'm glad to know that the woman part of a male-female couple is not disposable, that a man can't trade in his wife for another man and expect everything to be the same. Women are too important to be done without--- as are men.

Canadian law prof. wants provinces to force ‘queering’ of Catholic schools | LifeSiteNews.com

Canadian law prof. wants provinces to force ‘queering’ of Catholic schools | LifeSiteNews.com Please click link and read article.

What about the rights of Catholics--- including those Catholics with gay/lesbian orientation who have remained within their Church--- when the secular authorities demand Catholic schools promote acceptance of queer lifestyles and queer sex? Should not the principles of tolerance and respect extend to people of the Catholic faith and other Christian faiths?

What the law professor proposes is that parents should no longer have the right to educate their children in the Catholic faith, that they should be indoctrinated in a different, secular faith--- the faith of the law professor doing the demanding.

How is that different from any other prejudice?